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Post by Sylvester Salazar Gaunt on Feb 1, 2011 23:16:03 GMT -6
so. this song kinda describes me right now... My best friend and I have known eachother five years now. We've been best friends for four of those years. The thing is, i've also had a huge crush on her for all five years, and i'm not talking like a little puppy crush or school kid crush. I'm talking full on, "oh my god, this girl is amazing" crush.
My senior prom is coming up and all my friends are telling me to ask her to go with me, but I can't make myself do it. I've never been good at asking girls out and, to make this more difficult, the last two times i asked her out, she turned me down. Granted, these were both four years ago, freshman year, but still. That alone is enough to psych me out. Plus, to make this a bit more urgent of a thing, she's moving to New York, where she's from (we currently live in Georgia), ASAP, and, one way or another, we're not going to the same college, so my time with her is running out fast.
I really just kinda wanted to vent. I hate hiding this from her (especially when everyone around us seems to think its pretty damn obvious how i feel. lol), but I don't want to risk things becoming awkward between us. She's my best friend before anything. But yeah. There's my venting.... feel free to comment with whatever. I wouldn't post this here if I was adamant about people not replying to it...
SO. Here's the updated info on my shit pile I call a love life:
So, during this past week, while I was stuck at home recovering from the surgery, who should call and ask to stop by but, you guessed it, my friend that i've had a crush on for God knows how long. We have a really nice conversation, although it only lasts for about three minutes, cause she was just stopping in on her way home from work. So, I had planned to ask her to the prom while she was there, but everything happened so fast that I never got the chance.
About fifteen minutes after she leaves, I send her a text saying something along the lines of "hey. would you go to prom with me? just as friends? i would really don't want to go alone and I would rather just not go than go by myself. I meant to ask you while you were here, but I never got the chance." I never got a response. I text her the next night asking if I worded something wrong or if I scared her off. She said that I didn't, and that she just was busy when she got the message and forgot to reply. We talk for a few more minutes, then she says she has to go. Again, she never answered my question as to whether or not she would go with me.
Fast forward to today, my least favorite day of the year, the 14th of february. this day seems to be the universe's favorite day to mess with me, cause I always come home from school feeling like crap in some way or another. this year, the universe decided to screw me over by letting me find out that my friend (who i'm tired of referring to as my friend, so i'm gonna call her chelsea, and no, that's not her real name) started dating someone else over the last weekend. this guy is a friend of mine. a good friend too, but he's a bona fide man whore, and i wouldn't trust him around my friends that were girls even if he were 20 feet away. as soon as i find this out, my slight bipolarness that i have kicks in. i become depressed and hardly say anything throughout the entire class period and lunch that i have with both of them.
after school is where things get confusing. i get home and i'm still upset, cause this girl i've longed after for so long and like so much is now out of my grasp. about fifteen minutes after i'm home, i get a call from one of my old friends with benefits. we start talking and she's acting like she wants to hook up again. in my upset state, i love the idea of getting my mind off chelsea and start flirting with her (the old fwb). then, twenty minutes later, chelsea texts me and says that she knows me well enough to know that i wasn't so distant during school because of not feeling well due to still recovering from the surgery (which was the excuse i gave to anyone that asked). i decide to tell her the half truth, telling her that finding out she was dating who she was just took me by surprise and that i am genuinely worried for her. she then goes on to tell me that she doesn't think the relationship will last long, cause the boy smokes pot more than anyone she's ever met and its a huge turnoff for her (she knew he smoked, but she thought it was alot less frequent than it is in reality). so now, i'm stuck. i have this old fwb who now thinks we're gonna start hooking up again, and i chelsea on the other hand who says she thinks she'll be single soon. so, while my hormones are telling me to go after the old fuck buddy, since its an almost guaranteed thing, and it would get my mind off of chelsea, my emotions are begging me to hold on a little longer and see what happens with chelsea and her boyfriend.
(by the way, extra info for you all, chelsea and i confessed to eachother earlier this year that we had both had crushes on eachother for the past three years, but we just didn't know how the other felt. she said that she got over me when we wound up going all of junior year without a single class together and kinda fell apart. i told her the same happened to me, but, in reality, i didn't get over her at all)
so yeah. again. someone please give me some friendly advice. please.
... I have a terrible habit of pushing people away sometimes.. Anyway... 
if you need advice asap and I don't get to you tomorrow, pm me though, its probably because I forgot... ._.
