Jennifer Hawk ((FINISHED))

[Jennifer Hawk]

-General-

Full Name: Jennifer Hawk
Gender: Female
Age, Birthplace & Date: 14, Dublin Ireland, April 1st
Bloodline: Half-Blood

-Appearance-


Hair: Brown

Eyes: Brown

Body Type: Slim, Slender.

Unique Features: She has a birthmark on her lower back, that looks like a flower. She usually wears her mothers pendant and rings as a sort of memoriam to her.

Animagus: Unknown

More Detailed Physical Description: Jennifer is about 5 foot 2 inches tall, and weighed around 115 pounds. She has long brown hair that goes down to the middle of her back. Her eyes had a brown tone to them. She was very slim, and skinny. She kept herself well kept, and well nourished.

-Personality-

Boggart:Jennifer falling off a broom.

Mirror of Erised: Her mother alive

Patronus: Snow Rabbit

Temperament/Allegiance: She is usually is very happy, and is very seldom upset, or mean to people because she wants to live a life like her mother. Caring, and never gets angry at people. Her Allegiance is Good

Likes/Dislikes:

Likes:

*Boys
*Studying
*Friends
*Family
*Magic

Dislikes:
*Flying
*Death
*Most Slytherins
*Her father

Strong Points/Weaknesses:

Strong Points:
*Charms
*Studying
*Making Friends

Weaknesses:
*DADA
*Most Boys
*Flying

Whims/Habits: When she is upset, or bored, she will twirl her hair, or draw a picture of her mothers pendant which she has around her neck at all times.

Detailed Personality : She is usually a happy person, trying to live a good life. She does her best to make friends, and even if someone hates her, she will try to work it out with them. But if they are mean to her, then she just ignores them completely. She has a strong hate for her father, because of her viewing him beat her mother to unconciousness..

On a side note: No one knows this, not even herself. When she drinks, or gets any kind of alcohol, after a certain point, she becomes more flirty, and outgoing, but she will not remember what happened the next day.


Character's Family :
Mother: Abigael Hawk nee Jones ~ Dead Witch
Father: Joshua Hawk ~ Alive Muggle

-Training-
Students—

[/b]

Current Year of Studies 4th:

House: Ravenclaw, Gryffindor, Hufflepuff, Slytherin

Adults— ((Apply for other than student.. there is a list of open positions

available in the sorting hat. ))

Occupation: ((if shop keeper, etc)

Professor of: ((If applying for Professor positions))

Other Position:
[/left]

-Character History-

Jennifer was born into a seemingly caring family. She had one Magical Parent, and one Muggle Parent. She loved her mom abit more than her father though, and this showed at an early age. When she was 2 years old, she started showing signs of Magical powers. Her mother was happy, and knew that she would be sending her to Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. Her father wanted to send her to public schools, and have her be a normal person. He never said anything about it infront of Jennifer though, no matter how old she was. Her parents always faught, her father would beat her mother, but never infront of Jennifer. or so they thought. Jennifer watched from the doorway one time, as her father beat her mother. Knocking her unconcious. She ran off quickly before she was spotted.

When Jennifer turned 5 her mother started to show her magic using her wand. Her father would sneer as she did and when Jennifer left the room, he would say things like, Abigael should burn, and that she promised to turn back on that life. Abigael would end up crying and running off to her bedroom. Jennifer always thought they were a happy family, but she never loved her dad as much as she did her mom. When Jennifer turned 6 her life flipped upside down. Her life changed drastically. She was laying in her bed sound asleep, when she heard clanging in the kitchen. She was going to go look, but decided against it afraid for her life. She heard the intruder walk down the hall, passed her bedroom and go into her parents room. She was scared completely, and then she heard faint cries and screams, and the ripping of fabric and cloth. The intruder ran down the hall way and out of the house.

Jennifer got out of bed when she was sure it was clear and went to her parents room. "Mo....Mommy....D...Daddy..." She stuttered and turned the light on and screamed out seeing her mothers bloody corpse in the bed. She ran out of the house to her neighbors and bangged on the door, and told them quickly her mother was dead. The neighbors called 911, and took her away. Her father came home the next day, after a long night at work, and acted upset, and completely shocked that her wife was dead.

The years went on, and Jennifer never forgot her mother. She had gotten abit closer to her dad, but still didn't like him for some reason. She had convinced him to let her go to Hogwarts in memory of her mother. After begging and pleading, her father finally agreed and sent her off to get her supplies and go to Hogwarts. To this day, 4 years later, Jennifer wears her mothers Pendant around her neck, and her mothers rings. She will never take them off until she is ready to.

The "Real you"

Alias : Artemis, Rob, Penny, Thro
Disposable time : Anytime
Site you on which you found us : Google

Sample RP: ((See Artemis Regimus and Penny Williams))

[Jennifer Hawk]

Finished, and ready for review

[Rafael Ochoa]

Points of contention
Birthplace

Eyes

More Detailed Physical Description

Boggart

Detailed Personality

[/u] relationship, emphasis being on personal because one must have a very strong reason for having such extreme feelings of dislike for another person or entity for it to be labeled "hate". I should think there is some sort of good fucking reason for all this.[/ul]

History

[Jennifer Hawk]

Birthplace

Ireland. A whole island, and you couldn't be more specific?

I don't know a map of ireland and when I wrote this, It was early in the morning, and by early i mean 4 in the morning early. So I didn't want to stop what I was typing while I still had the basic idea in my head, and go look at a map of Ireland.

Eyes

Greyish, hazel? How do you mean?

Depending on the way the light is, and how you are standing when you look at her eyes, they can appear eaither a light grey. or a hazel coloring.

More Detailed Physical Description

"She kept herself well kept"
I just plain do not understand what that is supposed to mean.

It means she didn't let herself get messey, she kept her hair always straight and clean, her clothes ironed, and washed on a regular daily basis. She was never a slob is what I ment. I might of worded it wrong, what I ment to say was, more along the lines of. She Kept herself clean, and well taken care of.

Boggart

How does a boggart transform into "flying"?

It was more along the lines of Heights, and falling. How can a boggart transform into anything, I mean. It can transform into something. If you wish I will change it to Falling off a Broom.

Detailed Personality

Why does she hate her father. You can't hate someone without knowing why you hate them. Hate is a very strong personal relationship, emphasis being on personal because one must have a very strong reason for having such extreme feelings of dislike for another person or entity for it to be labeled "hate". I should think there is some sort of good fucking reason for all this.

Haven't you ever met someone and just had that feeling of, "Ohh im not gonna like them much, they look like a prick, and an ass." and you just have that deep down hate and you don't know why. That what it is. It also doesn't help that, her father beat her mother, killed her, If you wish I can change the Personality/History, and Explain that maybe she saw her father beat her mother one time. She always had a stronger connection to her mother, because they could both use magic. As I asked, if you wish, Ill put in the history that she had spied on them, and saw her father beat her mother, Which caused the hatred.

History

And here we come to the reason that she hates her father for no reason. Oh, wait, no, she has even less reason now, except maybe that her dad's a widower? I don't get it. There is literally no reason she shouldn't like her father, I don't care how badly Mister Hawk killed his wife, you have given me no reason to believe that she should hate him in the least bit, and she just comes off as a cunt. If that's what you're going for, by all means, go for it, but make it more plain to me.

As it said in the history, her father beat her mother, and as I said before, If you wish I can put that she saw him do it once, but never said anything to anyone, which caused that hatred to kindle inside of her. She also found it weird that the night her mother died, the killer didn't kill Jennifer as well, and that her father wasn't home, so she always had that slight suspicion that he did it, and she always wanted to avoid him. She isn't ment to come off as you say a "Cunt" but you are reading too deep into everything.


I make my Applications/Biographys with a bit of mystery and a sense of wanting to know more. So as I tell everyone who asks me questions like this. If you wish to find out more, found out some how ((WITHOUT, god modding)) In role play, ask the right questions and she will answer them. She is ment to be a caring person, and likes to make friends, and if she trusts them enough, and find out more of her Life, and then ask her questions, she will answer them.

So if you wish, tell me if you want to change anything else, or if what I have answered is good enough. I hope that answers all your concerns now.

[Rafael Ochoa]

I don't know a map of ireland and when I wrote this, It was early in the morning, and by early i mean 4 in the morning early. So I didn't want to stop what I was typing while I still had the basic idea in my head, and go look at a map of Ireland.

Splendid, but now you've the chance to more accurately describe whereabouts Jennifer is from. You can make up a wizarding town, that's really all you have to do, and toss it in some county based upon which you think sounds prettiest.

Depending on the way the light is, and how you are standing when you look at her eyes, they can appear eaither a light grey. or a hazel coloring.

Alright, granted.

It means she didn't let herself get messey, she kept her hair always straight and clean, her clothes ironed, and washed on a regular daily basis. She was never a slob is what I ment. I might of worded it wrong, what I ment to say was, more along the lines of. She Kept herself clean, and well taken care of.

Fair enough, but the way you phrased it sounded like gibberish.

It was more along the lines of Heights, and falling. How can a boggart transform into anything, I mean. It can transform into something. If you wish I will change it to Falling off a Broom.

A boggart takes the form of something, and it does this because it's magic.

Haven't you ever met someone and just had that feeling of, "Ohh im not gonna like them much, they look like a prick, and an ass."

Every single day of my life.

and you just have that deep down hate and you don't know why.

No, I know why, it's because I'm a hateful man.

That what it is. It also doesn't help that, her father beat her mother, killed her, If you wish I can change the Personality/History, and Explain that maybe she saw her father beat her mother one time. She always had a stronger connection to her mother, because they could both use magic. As I asked, if you wish, Ill put in the history that she had spied on them, and saw her father beat her mother, Which caused the hatred.

She doesn't have the slightest idea that her father beat/killed her mother. If you changed it to that, sure, I'd be okay with it, but I don't personally care, I'm letting you know that it looks silly and poorly thought out to a third person reader.

As it said in the history, her father beat her mother, and as I said before, If you wish I can put that she saw him do it once, but never said anything to anyone, which caused that hatred to kindle inside of her. She also found it weird that the night her mother died, the killer didn't kill Jennifer as well, and that her father wasn't home, so she always had that slight suspicion that he did it, and she always wanted to avoid him. She isn't ment to come off as you say a "Cunt" but you are reading too deep into everything.


I make my Applications/Biographys with a bit of mystery and a sense of wanting to know more. So as I tell everyone who asks me questions like this. If you wish to find out more, found out some how ((WITHOUT, god modding)) In role play, ask the right questions and she will answer them. She is ment to be a caring person, and likes to make friends, and if she trusts them enough, and find out more of her Life, and then ask her questions, she will answer them.

So if you wish, tell me if you want to change anything else, or if what I have answered is good enough. I hope that answers all your concerns now.

I suggest you say that, then, indeed. I'm "reading too deep" because of two things. Primarily because I am the gatekeeper around here, and it's my job to make sure that applications are up to scrub. Secondary to that is the fact that I actually read things--I think about them as I read and when something doesn't make sense my willing suspension of disbelief shatters and it makes the work I am reading infinitely worse off in my own eyes critically.

It's great that you want to make your applications with a bit of mystery, but I am a disinterested observer and will very likely not interact with your character in the roleplay, so ruining the mystery for me won't be a horrible disappointment to my sensibilities. I want to know that you've actually thought out a character properly and when I read an application, I'd like very much for you to shew it to me. And since you had enough thought to answer all the points of contention I raised, you can very clearly prove that you've thought it out to me, I merely ask that you put it all together in the first post for clarity.

[Rafael Ochoa]

Accepted.