Adonis Able

[Adonis Able]

Basic

OOC Alias: Nick Laster
Full Name: Adonis Able
Nickname: none.
Age: 14
Year: 4
House: Slytherin, Ravenclaw, Gryffindor, Hufflepuff.
Nationality: Half Russian, Half German.
Sex: Male.
Orientation: Gay.

Appearance

Eye color: Green.
Hair color: Light Brown.
Markings: none.

Personality

-Adonis has a mind of his own which is changing a lot of the time. Adonis likes to view every side to a part before claiming a side. A warm person to meet, but not to be underestimated, Adonis can change and let a angry side come out. He is a dark supporter as his family has raised him, but can sometimes make the dark side hate him. Adonis will talk with anyone, sometimes to use them for his advantage or to be a friend. He can be trustworthy, but don't count on it too much. Adonis studies hard to learn every magic possible and use to his liking.

Role Play Example:
It was a clear brisk night. Adonis walked along a beach, the waves slowly moving in and out. He was in deep thought, the many things to come, the past...he stopped and looked up at the sky. The stars were bright, and then they started to dim. The waves came to a sudden stop, Adonis looked across the water, and I high wind came rushing at him. This has happened before, and Adonis knew he had to face it. The water at the shore rose high into the air, a giant wave in a standstill motion. Inside an image appeared. His greatest fear, being alone."My fear may haunt me, but fear will not take me" Adonis yelled. A curse, left on his family for generations, has always been a burden for Adonis to face. It's image presents itself in uncertain times when Adonis is most vulnerable. He drew his wand, aimed at the wave, made a slash in the air. The water came bursting at Adonis, trying to drown him on the beach. Adonis held his breathe, and the water eventually died out. Adonis layer on the beach, staring up at the sky. He knew the year was going to be life changing.

[adonisreneeknox]

1) I had to modify your application to even read it...putting it in a giant block of running words is unacceptable...you need to make sure the information is legible.

2) I will not even think about accepting an application that does not follow the Mandatory Application Form. We make it mandatory because it helps you provide us with enough information to decide whether we accept your character or not.

3) You completely took out the section on History. None of the Admins will take you seriously without the History section. It needs to be displayed like this:

[u]History [/u]

Must have a paragraph for: (all years your charries has attended must be filled out. [i] A Paragraph needs to be at the bare minimum five sentences. Also know as Topic Sentence, 3 Related Sentences, and a Closure Sentence.[/i]

-Before Hogwarts
-First Year
-Second Year
-Third Year
-Fourth Year
-Fifth Year
-Sixth Year
-Seventh Year
-After School (if already done with school)

Now to the Actual Work Submitted

4) Two Things About the Appearance Section:

a) You Completely left out a general description of your character. This needs to be at least A Paragraph explaining everything from the way he looks to the way he dresses himself.

b) Having no markings is unacceptable. Everyone has scars or freckles...EVERYONE. It's unnatural for someone to be mark free and there for looks like a Perfect Nancy...which are Horribly frowned upon.

5) Personality Section:

a) So your character is bipolar? Its really hard to Roleplay with a character who is so unstable that you can not even understand the type of person he is.

b) His personality is all over the place and will be too hard to Rp with.

6) The Roleplay Example:

a) You need to expand and give better descriptive sentences instead of sharp short ones.


Give Notice Below when You Edited Everything Above ^

~ Sklar